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By Dr. Bob Carey There is a question I have been asked countless times over the past four decades. It usually comes from exhausted parents who have reached the end of another difficult day and are searching for something—anything—that might make tomorrow a little easier. "What do I do when my child refuses?" Sometimes the refusal involves homework, sometimes getting dressed in the morning, sometimes going to bed, and sometimes something as simple as turning off a video game.

When you’re navigating the complex world of challenging behaviours in children, it can feel like you’re trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. You want to help, but where do you start? How much will it cost to get the right support? These questions often linger in the back of your mind. Today, I want to walk you through the costs involved in Positive Systems Approach consultations, helping you understand what you’re investing in and why it matters. What Is the Cost

When it comes to guiding children through their emotional ups and downs, it often feels like navigating a winding river. Sometimes the current is calm, and other times it’s a rapid that tests your every skill. I’ve learned that managing child behaviour positively is less about control and more about connection. It’s about understanding the why behind the actions and gently steering towards better choices. So, how do we do this effectively? Let’s explore some positive child be

How AI, Trauma Screening, and the Positive Systems Approach May Change the Way We Help Children by Dr. Bob Carey One of the greatest risks in working with children is believing that we already know why they are behaving the way they are. A child who cannot sit still is labelled as having ADHD. A student who refuses to complete schoolwork is described as oppositional or unmotivated. Another who withdraws from classmates is viewed as shy, anxious, or socially awkward. These des

When parents come in for a consult about their child's emotional wellbeing, the conversations typically focus on the factors most people naturally think about. They talk about family relationships, friendships, school experiences, learning challenges, anxiety, stress, behaviour, and self-esteem. Occasionally they discuss sleep, exercise, or the impact of technology. What rarely comes up, at least initially, is nutrition. Yet nutrition is becoming an increasingly important pa

The Alarming Statistics Over the past several years, researchers have documented a troubling increase in emotional distress among adolescent girls. The statistics are difficult to ignore. According to the most recent Youth Risk Behavior Survey from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), four in ten high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness during the previous year. Among girls, the numbers are even more concerning, with n

By Dr. Bob Carey, C.Psych. Over the past several years, many parents, educators, and mental health professionals have noticed a concerning shift in the emotional lives of children. Increasingly, children who appear bright, capable, and conscientious are presenting with significant levels of anxiety related to performance, achievement, and fear of failure. While anxiety surrounding grades, sports, auditions, and social acceptance has traditionally been associated with adolesce

Over the years, I have noticed a common pattern in the conversations with parents. They rarely begin by talking about relationships, emotional regulation, executive functioning, family stress, developmental differences, or environmental factors. Those things usually emerge later. The conversation almost always begins with behaviour. A parent describes the explosive tantrums that seem to appear out of nowhere. Another talks about a child who argues endlessly over even the sm

When parents seek support for concerns about their child's emotional wellbeing, the conversation often begins with the issue that feels most immediate. Perhaps a child is struggling with anxiety, having difficulty regulating emotions, withdrawing socially, or experiencing challenges at school. Understandably, attention is often directed toward the child and the symptoms that have become most visible. Yet one of the most consistent findings in developmental psychology suggests

When parents are concerned about their child's wellbeing, the conversation often begins with something concrete. A child may be experiencing frequent headaches. Another may seem exhausted much of the time despite spending long hours in bed. Some struggle to fall asleep, while others wake repeatedly during the night or find it difficult to get going in the morning. In many cases, families have already begun searching for answers. They may have consulted medical professionals,

In a recent longitudinal study titled "Identifying Candidate Mediators Linking ADHD Symptoms and Internalising Problems in Adolescence," researchers Murray, Dryburgh, and Sonuga-Barke (Murray AL, Dryburgh K, Sonuga-Barke EJS. Identifying Candidate Mediators Linking ADHD Symptoms and Internalising Problems in Adolescence: An Exploratory Longitudinal Mediation Analysis. J Atten Disord. 2026 Mar 6) explored the complex pathways that lead from ADHD symptoms to internalizing issue

When we think about changing behavior, especially in children with challenging behaviors, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Change can seem like a mountain too steep to climb. But what if I told you that understanding the systemic behaviour models could be the map you need to navigate this terrain? These models don’t just look at isolated actions; they consider the whole system around the individual. This perspective can transform how we approach behavior change, making it more

by Dr. Bob Carey Across North America, teachers in early-grade classrooms are describing scenes that would have been almost unthinkable a decade ago: children bolting from rooms, dissolving into tears during minor transitions, screaming when routines shift unexpectedly, hiding beneath desks, throwing furniture, or shutting down entirely when overwhelmed. In a recent Washington Post article, one teacher described the experience as “walking on a tightrope every day,” while anot

by Dr. Bob Carey The recent New York Times investigation into the booming autism therapy industry raised deeply concerning questions about the commercialization of childhood behavioral and developmental challenges. (5 Takeaways From a Times Investigation on Autism Therapy Clinics, by Sarah Kliff and Margot Sanger-Katz, May 23, 2026) (5 Takeaways From a Times Investigation on Autism Therapy Clinics). According to the investigation, some autism clinics and therapy providers in

One of the more emotionally difficult realities that parents, educators, and clinicians encounter during adolescence is the use of suicidal statements, threats of self-harm, or dramatic emotional crises during moments of conflict, frustration, or demand. A teenager may suddenly threaten suicide when limits are imposed, when access to electronics is removed, when expectations increase, or when they are confronted about school refusal, substance use, peer conflict, or behaviour

When we face challenging behaviors in children or individuals, it can feel like navigating a stormy sea without a compass. You might wonder, How can I truly understand what’s happening beneath the surface? Or, Is there a way to create lasting change that feels hopeful and empowering? This is where the core principles of positive systems come into play, offering a fresh lens to see behavior not as a problem to fix but as a message to understand. Imagine behavior as a complex e

When we face challenging behaviours in children or individuals we care about, it can feel like navigating a stormy sea without a compass. You might wonder, how can I create a calmer, more supportive environment? The answer often lies in shifting our perspective from reacting to problems to building positive systems that nurture growth and connection. This is where the Positive Systems Approach comes into play—a framework that transforms how we understand and respond to behavi

By Dr. Bob Carey Following up on my blog post from last week regarding “Digital Disassociation” I realized that there is an even larger issue that I need to address – namely, video gaming addiction. There was a time when concerns about youth and video games were largely dismissed as another moral panic—an echo of earlier fears about television, comic books, or rock music. Parents were often told that gaming was simply “what kids do now,” that it was harmless entertainment,

A Psychologist’s perspective on “digital dissociation” and what it’s really telling us about our children by: Dr. Bob Carey Not long ago, a parent sat across from me and said something I’ve been hearing with increasing frequency: “It’s like he’s not even there anymore. When he’s on the iPad, he’s calm. But when I take it away… it’s like I’ve flipped a switch.” Most parents don’t need research to validate that experience—they’re living it. Still, it was striking to see a recen

When a child’s behaviour suddenly escalates, it can feel like everything shifts in an instant. One moment things are calm, and the next you’re dealing with noise, frustration, and a growing sense of urgency to make it stop. In those moments, it’s completely understandable that many parents reach for quick solutions—often in the form of punishment. But over time, what becomes clearer—both in research and in practice—is that there is a more effective and more respectful way to